This child LOVES people . She waves, smiles and charms everyone . Its amazing to watch how people who are in the process of rushing right past me , do a double take and suddenly stop to smile or wave back ......some even coming over to chat for a few seconds and then go on their way looking like much different people than they were before the innocent charm of a toddler reminded them to slow down, look around and enjoy the day.
Gabby turned 5 yesterday and we had a small party for her at my mothers house . As Amreen was away we held off on the bigger celebration until she comes back from Disney , and then Gary and I plan to take all the girls on a small cruise which caters to kids .
I really didn't take too many pics , or really try to get good ones , the lighting is awful inside the house and after messing around trying to get the pool working all day Gary and I were really running on empty .
Gabby and the Girls had a great time though . Gabby and my mother baked and decorated the cake themselves .
Gabby was her gracious and sunny self and allowed her little sister to hog the spotlight and the cake for the most part .
All the girls got presents . There's nothing sadder than watching little kids faces fall as they try to understand why THEY aren't getting any gifts .....so all the little ones get a few things to open in our house , and there's no sad faces .
Alex of course kissed and kissed and kissed her way thru the night .
And Gabby and Toni ......well they were just like Patty and Toni ......continuing on in the tradition of everything silly and ridiculous......minus the usual flying food .
Although as I'm quite sure Patty capable of doing so ..... she must have realized that if even the smallest bits of cake got up and flew across the room hitting SOMEBODY in the face ...without ANYBODY touching it .....she might have more company then she wants right now on the other side , as my mother would be sure to have herself a heart attack mid-flight .
Despite the lack of food fight fun ....Gabby and the girls laughed and had a great time , and although Im not happy Gabbys growing up ...making her happy is all that matters .
Watching them made me miss my little sister , but Katey is so protective over her sister and I , its really quite comical . Hugging and kissing " the bubby " , helping her up slides ...and shooing other children away from ME with a hand on her hip and a firm " THATS MY MOMMY " ....made today really precious .
I'm in the process of purging my whole house of pretty much everything . I really need to get rid of every single thing ( minus the pictures ) and start all over . If I hadn't just painted the whole house I would really repaint it too .
I'm also clearing all the toxic people from my life . After a lot of thought Ive come to the conclusion that some people are just toxic for life...as much as I try I cant do anything about it , they're just negative to the bone and the more I try to help the more they are taking their toll on me ....which means my girls.
Luckily theres not too many of them taking up space in my life , and one of them notified me herself ....saving me time and effort. Sadly this person is actually not toxic herself so much as who she lives with ...the very immature and uninformed way in which I was notified really speaks volumes about her inner character and tells me that I was 100 percent correct in my reservations of opening up my life to her .........shes fruit from the poisonous tree and the apple doesn't fall far from the tree as they say .
As for the others ....some of them read this blog and will know who they are ...Ill not mention any names .....but as of today I'm closing the doors on alot of my past, grabbing my girls and starting a whole new life .
Welcome to the family beautiful girl ! I cant help it , Im already in love !
I AM JUMPING ALL AROUND SO EXCITED !
MY LITTLE SISTER FINALLLY HAD HER BABY !
LAST TIME I GOT TO YELL THAT GABBY ARRIVED IN A TEENY WEENY 5 POUND PACKAGE .
THIS TIME .....NOT SO TEENY .
I DONT HAVE ALL THE DETAILS BUT MY NEWEST SWEET NEICE BABY KENDALL IS 9 POUNDS 8 OZ . !
I know shes going to kill me for posting this picture of her and her friend but I dont care ! I think shes one of the most gorgeous pregnant women EVER. Patty was the other one .
Im waiting on pics of the baby while I will post , but for now I am going to go jump some more around the house like an idiot , shop a little for the new princess and then hop around again till I get the pictures !
HOP HOP HOP ................
Just some pics for today to update on the girls .
GOOD TO KNOW SHES ALREADY GOT THIS ONE DOWN.
DO AS I SAY CHILD , NOT AS I DO .
I SWEAR HER EYES CAN SEE THRU THINGS .
COULDNT HAVE BEEN COMFORTABLE .
OR TASTY . SHE ABSOLUTELY WAS EATING THEM MORE THAN COLORING WITH THEM .
KATEY IN THE MORNING .
CHEEKY MONKEY IN THE PARK
MORE LATER . IM JUST TOO TIRED .
That I brought to the park all by myself .......we all know how this story goes .
Luckily they were all fabulous , ESP Amreen . I really cant say enough about this child . I mourn the fact that shes not Alexs age anymore , and I truly miss the living SHYTE out of the toddler she once was.......but shes such a soulful , deep , sweet child I'm amazed by her everyday .
Shes just so good ...making my job with the girls so much easier ... one of those rare children who not only is good with little kids , but truly enjoys taking on a parenting role , and really just works tirelessly to please others. She just somehow knows what I need , before EVEN I KNOW . Its incredible .
NOW HER SISTER TAREEN ....totally opposite . Its actually funny how different they are . Tareen is one of those WAY too smart for their age children , who tests every limit, pushes every button , and has an answer for everything...all the while listening to NOTHING AND NOBODY . Her personality is so big it just pours out of her.
She has utterly floored me at times with things shes done or said that just seem too advanced for her. She loves Amreen so much , but has her own cheeky way of showing it which of course rubs Amreen the wrong way, and drives her crazy . One day they are going to make a hell of a team , and be the ultimate compliment to each other , but for now its like oil and water .
She utterly cracked me up with the way she would instantly throw on a pose , the minute the camera pointed her way . AT SEVEN SHE KNOWS HOW TO WORK THE CAMERA ...and I mean WORK IT .
THIS IS ONE OF MY FAVORITES WITH FOUR OUT OF FIVE LOOKING AT THE CAMERA , AND LITTLE NUMBER FIVE HAVING A FIT ....WHILE FOUR AND THREE HOLD ONTO HER !
HAHAH! It was even cuter in person !
My past has caught up to me ....but it the most amazing way , and I cant help but think Patty has had something to do with this . I had a really tough time this past week with losing her, maybe its because shes closer than ever , but no matter how close she is now , shes still is completely out of my reach ...something that is eating away at me.
They say that time heals all wounds . I personally have not found this to be true , but what I have found is that it TRYS . However, while time is trying to heal wounds , GRIEF is working against it , trying to REOPEN old wounds.
So even as TIME stitches you up , sets you on your feet and sends you on your way with a little package of confidence that you will get thru this ..... GRIEF comes running up behind you , grabs you by the neck , shreds your care package of confidence and rips you all back open .
How much spills out - is up to you . A lot of people become infected with GRIEF so much that they turn on themselves ....helping to rip their own wounds open , and usually creating new ones . Time stands by patiently , but sighs sadly .
Eventually after enough of these battles a scar forms ....but scars are only visible proof of unmeasured damage . Scars are only reminders you've fought a battle , they don't help you win or lose .
Ive been losing this week . Badly . So much so Ive been afraid to drive in the car as thats where grief usually attacks me relentlessly. Despite the fact I'm going 65 miles an hour , it seems to have no trouble keeping up . Patty helps me fight ...she sends me songs to show her presence , but driving a car , while fighting grief , and all of it thru swollen eyes and non stop tears isn't the easiest thing .
I am fighting though , and refusing to turn on myself , though trust me the urge is there . This week Patty sent me more than songs . She sent me people . People who meant the absolute WORLD to both of us . People who shared in the most amazing experience with both of us .....people we went to " CAMP " with .
If you didn't go to camp TRUST ME ....YOU MISSED OUT .
I went to two ....but it was my second camp that was so special to Patty and I , it was never out of our thoughts for long . This particular camp is utterly magic . There's something about this place that draws you in and keeps you ...bonds you the land that its built on so that 100 years later you STILL want to go back . And people do . The camps been around for over 100 years and its incredible the way long ago campers find there way back. People from 50 -60 - 70 years ago , still so drawn to the land ....still so aware of its magic .
You cant talk about camp with people who haven't been ...but Ive been thinking about it a lot lately as Patty wished more than anything she could go back . As she got sicker and sicker , the urge got stronger and stronger . There wasn't a day that went by that she didn't say , hey doesn't that smell remind you of camp , or perk up at the sound of a " camp song " on the radio .
I truly cant help but think she had a hand in the mini reunion going on now . The memories that are coming back to life as more people join in , and add to them . There's strength in these memories ...strength in reminiscing with Patty's oldest Best-est friends ....with seeing pictures of her when she was strong and happy . Strength that slows down grief ....... SO even though it still rips my heart out , it can no longer throw it on the ground and stomp it into a million little pieces .
Makes it much easier to pick up and put back .
